Is the Wii the only answer to getting non-gamers interested in games?
Any gamer who lives with a non-gamer (generally, the Mrs., but I don’t want to assume) knows the inherent tensions that can arise in the household. “Do the dishes!” (Five more minutes…) “It’s time for bed!” (Let me finish this level.) “We’re going to be late!” (I’m fighting a boss.) “I’m going into labor!” (Let me get to a save point!) These tensions exist in my marriage as much as they might in any other and are compounded by the fact that my wife dislikes glowing rectangles in general. Thus any game that Mrs. cmfl3x and I can find a common interest in is like pure gold.
In this two part feature, I’ll be looking for some of the general principles that a gamer can use to try to find a game that can be enjoyed with a non-gamer. Obviously, your mileage may vary, and each individual user knows their significant other the best, but since I have a particularly difficult to please spouse, I figure I’d share some of my experiences. In Part 1, I’ll be looking at some general guiding principles and some general types of games, while in Part 2 I’ll discuss some specific genres that might house these diamonds in the rough. With examples!
General Principles
There are a few general rules of thumb that I find work the majority of the time. There is a very strong correlation between Nintendo games and spousal approval, for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, most Nintendo characters are cute. Mario is iconic and speaks in a funny accent. Yoshi: cute. Polygonal Link (or Zelda, as he is known to many): adorable. Wario: His mustache is upside down, HILARIOUS. You get the point. Throw in the nostalgia factor, and you have a key to many non-gamers hearts.
The second reason why non-gamers tend to appreciate Nintendo games is because Nintendo has expanded the video game audience. Games like Wii Sports, Just Dance, Warioware, are all simple games that many people can enjoy, often together. Using a SAT analogy: Wii : Party Games :: Xbox 360 : FPSes. In general, non-gamers can get into party games, especially if it leads to quality time. If you’re going to spend quality time with your spouse, you might as well spend it in an area of strength, video games (albeit a poor version of it).
Another general rule of thumb is that portable games generally can garner more approval from an unhappy spouse, again for a couple of reasons. In this case, I find that portable games are less offensive to Mrs. cmfl3x because I generally am playing them when we have time to kill like on public transportation and stuff. Also, portable games don’t hijack the entire living room, which is a plus. Finally, portable games, especially on the DS, tend themselves more toward the “casual” side, plus there are a lot of puzzle games like Professor Layton that Mrs. cmfl3x can enjoy.
If there’s a game with one of these is involved, you can bet the house that Mrs. cmfl3x will hate it
The third and most important rule of thumb I can think of is a list of things that Mrs. cmfl3x HATES in video games. I’ve pared down the list and included it here:
Stuff Mrs. cmfl3x Hates in Video Games
- First person shooters, mainly due to copious amounts of gunfire
- Ugly or scary looking monsters
- Scary audio (whether it be creepy music or screaming or whatever)
- Any combination of the letters U, A, and V
- Swear words
- Scantily clad females OR males
- Headsets
- Sports games (they combine TWO things she hates, well, not sports itself, but my obsession with them)
- Repetitive music (mostly because of the 20+ hours of Doom 2 lately)
- Excessive screaming into headsets
- Excessive screaming into headsets coupled with excessive sweating
- Excessive screaming into headsets coupled with excessive sweating followed by controller throwing
Any game that contains any of the above features results in an immediate blacklist order from Mrs. cmfl3x. I’ll be allowed to play it, but she would never deign to try such a game. But there are some blanket things that Mrs. cmfl3x and other non-gamers DO generally appreciate in games, so I’ll spend the rest of Part 1 discussing two of them.
Story-Driven Games
Although this doesn’t draw in Mrs. cmfl3x too much, I’ve found that in general, non-gamers are drawn into epic, sweeping stories in games. Whether it be Final Fantasy, Metal Gear Solid, or even something like Assassin’s Creed, sometimes non-gamers get wrapped up in video games as if they are a TV show. At worst, this results in less complaining when you are playing, at a medium level, that results in the non-gamer wanting to play the game themselves, and at best, it results in them telling you not to quit because they “want to see what happens”. Why is the non-gamer wanting to play the game themselves only a medium level? Because if they are playing you can’t! You knew that, of course.
Spiky hair and emo dialogue is often well received
The other nice thing about story based games is it gives you a common topic to discuss with your non-gaming spouse. “I still can’t believe Aerith died! That was so sad, I almost cried.” But like a great TV show, if a video game can give you something to talk about, that’s saying a lot. Sure, it’s trivial, but it can be a great positive for your relationship and can be a lot of fun. Not all story driven games will resonate with a non-gaming spouse, but when they do, it helps relieve the gamer/non-gamer tension. Here are some series that might be worth a shot:
Story Given Games that Might be Enjoyed by All
Final Fantasy Series
Metal Gear Solid Series
Assassin’s Creed Series
Mass Effect Series
Phoenix Wright Series
RPGs in General
“Pretty” Games
Ironically, I could care less about graphics. My wife, on the other hand, appreciates games with good aesthetics, and I think other non-gamers are the same way. That doesn’t mean that she likes cutting edge graphics, but she appreciates games that are pleasing to the eye. I think “pretty” games can be split up into a few different categories:
Cute Games
Throw anything made by Nintendo into this category. Games with cute graphics, fuzzy animals, etc. etc. have a large appeal for non-gamers. A lot of casual games have this cute aesthetic to them as well. Basically, any games that don’t have a hard edge to them or a lot of blood can be appealing. Back when we were dating, my wife borrowed my Gamecube and used to wake up at 7 AM to catch fish in Animal Crossing. I think half the reason she played that game was to buy funny hats and outfits for her character. True story.
Examples: Animal Crossing/Harvest Moon type games, anything made by Nintendo, Little Big Planet
Who doesn’t love Sackboy?
Games with a Strong Environment
If a game isn’t cute, it can still be appealing to a non-gamer, especially if the game’s environment is visually pleasing to the eye. These aren’t necessarily games that a non-gamer might want to try, but one that they won’t mind watching or seeing on the TV screen. Assassin’s Creed 2 is a perfect example of this, Italy is so faithfully recreated, it’s a pleasure to watch someone else play the game.
Examples: Anything with pretty backgrounds
Games with a Strong Art Style
Sometimes games have such a unique art style that they can’t help but catch the eye. Whether it’s Max Payne, No More Heroes, or even a game like Metroid Prime, games often rely on a unique art style that can appeal to non-gamers. The old-school Viewtiful Joe would qualify as well. This is the toughest type of game for me to make predictions on, since the art style that appeals to different people is so varied. But rest assured, if you find a game that your spouse likes the look of, you will get a lot more slack if you try to play that!
Final Thoughts
Next week I’ll be looking at some specific genres of games that generally appeal to non-gamers. In the meantime, hit up the comments with your answer to the following question: What games have your spouse/significant other/mom enjoyed watching you play, or wanted to try themselves? I’d love to get some fresh ideas! 
haha great article – had me laughing as I thought about how my wife responds to the games i play. Here are some games I can remember her having a reaction to:
1. Mass Effect 2 – she would start watching during my conversation scenes, but start wondering what the heck was going on as I began flirting with Miranda. To this day, I have been too afraid to go through any of Bioware’s sex scenes or the God of War games’ “nipple fests” in front of her. Maybe at the next stage in or relationship? Or maybe never.
2. Resident Evil 4 & 5 – She would start chiming in on the eerie voice at the start menu when you load a game and the guy goes “RESIDENT EVIL….5″
3. Starcraft 2 – Always…always grimaces and gets grossed out whenever I spawn Zerg. She doesn’t like all the squishy sounds the Zerg make apparently but when I’m sitting right next to her as she’s working, I can understand why it’s a little distracting.
4. Warcraft III – began quoting the peons a lot whenever I spawned humans. “Work work…ready to work…”
5. Modern Warfare 2 – Every once in a while she will actually watch me play for a bit, and cheer when I kill someone and be startled when I get killed. It’s almost like she’s my fan!
6. EA Sports Active – When I first got it she thought it was silly that I played it, but after the first month or so I grew tired of it. However, even to this day, she’ll randomly ask sometimes if I want to play it since she’s too lazy to go to the gym.
7. Grand Theft Auto IV – When this game first came out, I think she heard about it from coworkers at work. She came home one day and was like, “Can you pick up prostitutes? Show me!” I was actually pretty shocked that she wanted to see it…I don’t think I ever did though and she forgot about it basically the next day, but I just found it amusing that she was interested in that.
Mrs. espion4ge has almost no inclination to play any video games because she gets stressed out from practically anything that you can “lose” in (if it’s losable, she’ll find a way -_-). However, she did enjoy Brain Training and Sudoku on the DS when we travel, and I got her to go through the entire Typing of the Dead game with me on Dreamcast. That was the highlight of my gaming universe and my wife overlapping: beating our first game together.
Anything with a traditional controller and analog sticks though…out of the question.
Great post!
My wife isn’t very interested in video games, but for the most part she doesn’t have a problem with me playing them. The only ones that are off the table are Grand Theft Auto, and WWII games where you kill Germans (since she has a German background). Luckily I got to play my share of GTA3 and Medal of Honour games on the PS1 and PS2 before we met, so its not a problem for me. She doesn’t really mind violent stuff like God of War, but I don’t let her see the naughty bits in those games.
As far as games that she enjoys – Little Big Planet definitely, but more just to watch. She isn’t into playing the game, but she likes Sackboy.
The game she liked the most to watch me play surprisingly was Hitman 2: Silent Assassin! She liked how there were so many different ways to approach each level, and that you were encouraged to use stealth and disguises rather than just shooting everybody. Sometimes we needed to come up with ideas together to figure out how to beat the levels. Pretty funny.
Lastly, the only types of games she will actually play are casual games on her iPhone – especially Solitaire. But she also played a Zuma-style game too. She gets REALLY addicted to those games, but never wants to try out my PS3 or PSP. No games that take longer than 5 minutes I guess, even though she will play 10 times in a row!
Funny, for me I get bored of casual games, because I’m more into games that have a decent story. Even sports games I like the management part a bit more than just playing a one-off game of soccer or hockey.
Looking forward to Part 2 of your post!
Oh yeah I had to start playing sc with headphones because Mrs cmfl3x hates the zerg so much!
She likes to play puzzle fighter.
She played some Animal Crossing because it was cute but quit becuase she said it was repetitive and boring (but really it was because she couldn’t master fishing).
She sometimes watched me play Shadow of the Colossus because it was cinematic and exciting.
Sometimes she’ll watch me play Super Street Fighter IV and when I lose she’ll say, “You had that! Why do you suck so much”
I’m ready to play some U-A-V.
Hey,
thanks for writing on this topic. I wish I could find someone who is the type of “nongamer” as I am. I hate cute stuff. I like first person shooters and some strategy. I never had games when I was a kid, though. I’m so far behind any one that might play with me it’s sad. That’s why I say I’m a nongamer. I don’t game.
Money is also factor because I will save money for an emergency rather than spend it on a console or a game. I don’t think buying things that make you happy is bad; I’m used to not spending money. All of this feels like some kind of social strata difference, rather than a gender difference in my case.
The one thing I see most of the time is time with spouse vs time gaming. I understand playing for ages. I read for ages also. If there were a second controller I might see if I were welcome in game. But when a “Mrs” feels single in day and at night, I start to get very concerned.
The wii is fun, there are plenty of non-games out there now, but if your Mrs. needs to enjoy games to be with you and still get some sleep, I may have nightmares for my future.
I don’t think that the Mrs. needs to enjoy games to spend time with the Mr., but it helps if she has a hobby too. My wife likes to knit, and it works pretty good when I’m playing games and she’s knitting. Both of us are totally engaged in what we’re doing, but we’re still sitting on the couch together. Maybe that’s not quality time together, but we still can take part in what eachother is doing. And sometimes the too can cooincide actually – my wife is planning to knit a Sackboy doll!
Sorry, somehow I missed this comment. Anyway, Mrs. cmfl3x probably will never enjoy games, so we find other stuff to do together to strike a balance. AKA I go hiking and do outdoorsy stuff, even though it isn’t my first choice of recreation. Every once in awhile I find a game she’ll play, but that’s like once a year for like…two days. Haha.